“Underground” spaces are either awarding themselves the stamp of counterculture approval or they’re actually underground. The following fall in the latter category, but forget stalactites, stalagmites, and cave dust: from a government bunker in Virginia to a concert hall in Colorado, these subterranean spaces are swank.
1. Jaegers
Kansas City, Missouri
Paintball is like the more painful version of laser tag, but you may as well do it in the hillside of a limestone mine. Its five fields feature various objects for protection from the most vicious players, including vehicles, wooden spools, and barrels. Some even have protected observation areas so you can just laugh when your friend gets shot in the ankle and is hopping around on one foot. It’s also pretty much the perfect spot for a teambuilding exercise. Nothing strengthens company loyalty more than being able to peg Bill from accounting.
2. Spa Terra
Napa, California
The Meritage Resort’s 9,000 square-feet spa is located in its “Estate Cave” — a fancy pants name for steam grottos, soaking pools, waterfalls, treatment rooms, and whirlpools located 40 foot below the hillside. It has a distinctly Mediterranean vibe, with mosaics, wrought-iron decorative touches and an earthy (ha) palette.
3. The Greenbrier
White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia
The mother of all 5-star bunkers and bomb shelters is that created by the government at the Greenbrier hotel in 1961. Located 720 foot below, the former “Project Greek Island” comprises a 25-ton blast door, decontamination chambers, a hospital clinic, power plant, and a 6-month supply of food and pharmaceuticals. To summarize: congress would be A-Okay during a nuclear attack, living underneath a luxury resort, while the rest of us dodge radiation.
4. Forestiere Underground Gardens
Fresno, California
Baldassare Foestiere, an Italian immigrant and subway digger, carved out this 10-acre subterranean complex, with patios, grottos, arched passageways, garden courts, and even a fishing pond modeled after the Sicilian catacombs of his homeland. The fact that he only worked with a pick, shovel, and wheelbarrow is either insane or just proves how badly he wanted to escape the heat. He was smart enough to sculpt out skylights so things could grow — and maybe so he wouldn’t get super depressed.
5. Mansueto Library
Chicago, Illinois
The glass-paneled domed top of this University of Chicago library sticks out above ground (students need some light to read their books). But just below is a five-story book depository, where an automated system delivers any of the 3.5 million books in an average of 5 minutes. It’s basically a library run by robot librarians, only they can’t shush rowdy studiers. There’s even a freezer set at negative 40 degrees to clean wet, moldy, or insect-infested books. Let’s not imagine what people are doing with the books to make these things happen.
6. Arthur M. Sackler Gallery
Washington, DC
Designed in the Postmodern style (aka sleek and simple), the Sackler Gallery is 57 foot below ground, with the kind of staircase you see people in ball gowns walk down during movies. A passageway connects it to the Freer Gallery of Art, skylights keep away the introvert-looking-at-art-and-being-socially-awkward vibes, and a reflecting pool at the bottom ensures it’s classy enough for schmoozy events. Check out the 8,000-plus works of art it houses from China, Japan, Korea, Iran, India, and Southeast Asia.